Openly

As some of you know, a number of catastrophic things have happened over the last few ... years. Some of them small, some large, but all cumulative and compound, if not exponential.

Right now, I need to make a minimum of $3.25 an hour more to meet expenses without a domino effect happening. (Paring back said expenses won't work - they're mostly fixed and recurring, not discretionary. ie - debts, not the cable bill, which was cancelled months ago). $6.25 and hour would let me dig into those debts rather than simply tread water, like I've been doing. Basically, I need to earn between $40k - $45k a year.

This isn't an option. It's do or die and this is a distress call. If I can't figure this out, asap, I will lose my home (apt), my pets, and everything that makes my life meaningful. I'm not ready to become an itinerant monk, devoid of possessions and earthy cares just yet.

I can fill some of the gap with the usual suspects: second job (nightmare for my health issues), over-time (undependable and exhausting, BT-DT), flatmate (another nightmare), move to some place cheaper (but an hour away from work and my limited support network - the people for whom I care and love).

They're all Faustian bargains -- long experience tells me so. I also realize these are all separate, if interconnected questions. Housing, expenses/income, career, education and finally, health.

I wish I could accomplish this by discipline and effort alone, but I've been trying that and it's not working well enough. I have to face the fact that my chronic fatigue and pain is likely to be lifelong and life limiting, if not debilitating. Which means doing things smarter and being tenacious mentally, rather than physically. (Oh, and learning to ignore the petty spirits that think all these things are character faults, rather than ill health. You know who you are.)

Any suggestions?

A lot of you know how intensely private I can be when it comes to much of this (with only a handful of folks knowing bits and pieces and only Erika knowing the whole of it.) I have an intense dislike of judgmental, ignorant people who bring nothing but their own baggage and evil tongues to the table, because of all the damage they've caused in my life. I have nothing to lose at this point and nothing to fear. That's why I'm starting to write about these things, openly.

More to follow.